29th October 2020

I burn a secret candle 
For Chaos in my heart
In all its crackling intensity
People tell me there’s
No. Such. Thing.
That my imagined density
Of disorder doesn’t exist
And all possibilities are certain.

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It may well be true
But nothing gives me greater pleasure
Than veering suddenly off-road
In sunlit woodland
And finding
Apples there.
A whole forest floor feastful.

​

God forbid I take any responsibility
For who I invite into
My bedlam
For My. Free. Will.

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The butterfly ‘I’ that alights on
Subitaneous decision-making
Savours synchronicity 
At the fork in the road.

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Why then, do I revel
In the rebel’s choice
As if the Universe doesn’t judge
All chances the same?

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I have fallen in love with my shadow
Identified with nothingness
And called liberation 
Losing myself.

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Never forget about rare spaces
On the outside of routine
A thoughtless act of the unplanned
Forces time to stretch, yawning

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The gift of the unpredictable
Keeps me awake.